i jhust puked up my retainher.
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Randomize
