So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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