did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Randomize
