wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
