I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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