so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
