i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
