So drunk its hurt
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
