Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
