All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
