i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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