well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Randomize
