they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
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