Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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