His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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