i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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