what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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