I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
