i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Randomize
