belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
