Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Randomize
