if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
