i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Randomize
