There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
