Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
