my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
