I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
