My brain says no but my pants say off.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Randomize