It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
