I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
