yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
