i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
