i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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