I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Randomize
