Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
There are leaves in my underwear?
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