He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
