A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
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