So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
