Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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