i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize