i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
