Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize