mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
