its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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