Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
