You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
