OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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