dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Randomize
