I want to stick my p in your. b.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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