My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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