It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
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